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7 Steps To Change Your Life: What We Think About We Bring About

Written By: Denise Finochiaro

We change the people around us by changing the people around us. Instead of allowing other people's darkness to surround us, we need to be allowing our light to surround them!

What Are Dream Stealers

Have you ever had an amazing idea that lit your soul on fire and excited you and made you ready to jump all in and start working on your idea?  Have you ever told someone you thought you could trust and they not only didn't share your enthusiasm for your idea, they immediately began to tell you all the reasons why your idea would never work?  Dreams stealers are people who, often times we know and think we can trust their opinion, and they  come in and can quickly squash any good ideas that we might have and by the time they're done, make us feel so unworthy and uncapable of achieving our dreams that we get derailed before we've ever gotten started.

Now maybe they are good friends or family members who mean well, but just because they mean well doesn't mean that they are the ones we need to be sharing our dreams with.  We'll talk more about accountability partners later on, but you want to share your ideas with people who will love and support you no matter what, even if they don't agree with you or they think you are wrong.  That's not to say that if someone you REALLY trust tells you your dream is a terrible idea and they have really valid reasons why it's not or they give you somethings to think about, that you should just blow them off as a dream stealer.  God gave YOU the idea to do whatever it is that your dream is, not them. So just because they don't think it's a good idea doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

Watch out however, for the number one biggest dream stealer in your life. Can you guess who it is? Well go into your bathroom and take a good long look in the mirror at the person staring back at you. IT'S YOU!!!!! YOU are the number one person in your life who can squash your dreams before you've barely thought the thought of having said dream. Why? Because you allow Satan to convince you that you aren't enough. Let me tell you this, YOU ARE ENOUGH! YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH, YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES AND GOD WILL GIVE YOU ALL THAT YOU NEED THAT YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE TO DO THE WORK HE IS CALLING YOU TO DO!

How Do Dream Stealers Affect Us

The bible tells us in John 10:10 that the enemy comes to "steal, kill and destroy." "The thief cometh not, but for to stealand to killand to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.". And that's exactly what dream stealers do. Now I'm not saying people are out to get you or harm you in some physical way, but hurt people hurt people. When someone isn't happy with their own life, they will quickly shoot down any ideas coming from someone else who is trying to better their own life, because they know they aren't trying to do the things they know they should be doing. Satan is REALLY good about sending the naysayers into our lives at the perfect time to try to distract us from the work we are doing.

If you are struggling with a negative self-worth or self-image, first of all take a good look around you and see what kind of people you are surrounding yourself with. We become most like the top five people we spend the most time with. So who is in your circle? Is it a spouse who is always putting you down, a friend who just never has anything nice to say, a co-worker who is all drama all time? If the top five people around you aren't a positive light in your life, you need to change the people you are hanging out with! Now I'm not telling you to get a divorce, stop going to work and never talk to your friends. But I am saying that you need to find other people who are a positive influence in your life. You can't just avoid your spouse or co-workers or friends all the time, but you can learn to put blinders and ear muffs on and decide how you are going to react to their negativity. Iron sharpens iron.  We change the people around us by changing the people around us. Instead of allowing other people's darkness to surround us, we need to be allowing our light to surround them!


Power of a positive mindset

Our minds are a powerful thing. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. What we allow ourselves to think about, is often times why our lives look the way they do. A negative mindset is a DREAM STEALER! Just like the title of this post says, what we think about we bring about. When we spend time focusing on all the negative things in our life, we often find that we are depressed, anxious, fearful, insecure, and don't feel worthy of having the better life that we want. But, if we choose to accept our life the way it is, take responsibility for why our life is in the shape it's in by acknowledging any that past decisions have gotten us where we are now and then determine that we are going to make better choices to get the life we want, our whole mind set changes.

How We Overcome The Dream Stealers & Find Our Own Success

We are a continual work in progress and all along the way, the world will try to tell us who we are and convince us to validate our self-worth based on who the world says we are and what other people think about us and what we are doing.  Listen very close to what I'm about to say, what other people think about you is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Yes I said what I said!  When we are so consumed with what other people think or will think about us if we move forward with the dream God has put in our heart, it will stop us in our tracks from moving forward. Then we are allowing what other people opinions of us are to determine if we should do God's will or not.  Now that doesn't meant that we shouldn't be concerned with our character and how other people see us in the world and just live any old way we want to.  As Christians we are called to live a life of discernment and protect our character, but that doesn't mean that what other people think of us or what we are doing is a good reason to not follow God's plan for our lives.

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

"But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts." 1 Thessalonians 1:4

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men," Colossians 3:23

"But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men." Acts 5:29

To be an overcomer who is victorious in Christ, we need to know who we are in HIM and see our self-worth through HIS eyes!  We need to be less consumed with what the world thinks we should be doing and only consumed with what God tells us we should be doing and validating who we are in HIM!

Look with wonder at the depth of the Father’s marvelous love that he has lavished on us! He has called us and made us his very own beloved children. The reason the world doesn’t recognize who we are is that they didn’t recognize him. Beloved, we are God’s children right now; however, it is not yet apparent what we will become. But we do know that when it is finally made visible, we will be just like him, for we will see him as he truly is. 1 John 3:1-2 TPT

"And he chose us to be his very own, joining us to himself even before he laid the foundation of the universe! Because of his great love, he ordained f us, so that we would be seen as holy in his eyes with an unstained innocence." Ephesians 1:4 TPT

"And our own completeness is now found in him. We are completely filled with God as Christ’s fullness overflows within us. He is the Head g of every kingdom and authority in the universe!" Colossians 2:10 TPT 

"Yet even in the midst of all these things, we triumph over them all, for God has made us to be more than conquerors, and his demonstrated love is our glorious victory over everything!" Romans 8:37 TPT

"Little children, you can be certain that you belong to God and have conquered them, for the One who is living in you is far greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4:4 TPT

And finally, to be overcomers we need to learn how to take every thought captive!

"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" 2 Corinthians 10:5

We can't control other people thoughts, actions, or behaviors. But there are also so many things that we CAN control! Our mind is one of them. The bible says to take every thought captive. That means we are not to let our minds just run wild with any old thought that pops into our heads. We need to take captive all of our thoughts and determine whether or not they are worth focusing on. When you take control over your thoughts, you need to learn to start replacing the ones that don't serve you with POSITIVE thoughts, affirmations and scriptures. What we allow ourselves to think on, becomes our reality. So we need to think on things that are going to move us forward not hold us back.



1. Identify the dream stealers in your life.

  • Who are they?

  • How are they affecting you?

2. Learn to accept who you are and your life right now.  Pray and ask God to help you see yourself as he sees you and love yourself the way he loves you.

3. Pray and ask God to help you make better choices now so that your future will be what he wants for you. 

4.  Take a look at the people in your life that you spend the most time with.  

  • Are they a positive influence or a negative influence?

  • Do they lift you up with encouragement or drag you down with negativity?

  • If they are dragging you down and mentally draining, start praying and asking God to bring people into your life that will help you to become more like Him and lead you towards the direction of Christ.

 5. Take every thought captive in your mind.  Remember what other people think about you is none of your business.  Learn to determine which thoughts are worth focusing on and which one’s aren’t.  Pray and ask God to help you weed out the negative thinking and start replacing it with positive thoughts, affirmations and scriptures. 

In the next post we'll be talking about the number one thing you need to do to accomplish your hopes and dreams and how to set yourself up for success as we continue to lay the foundation to your best life.


Evaluate Your Life

What We Think About, We Bring About

A Decided Heart

You Know Your Most Important Dream, Now What?

Painting The Big Picture

One Foot Forward

A Plan In Motion

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